Reality Bites

Random musings of reality bytes ... when reality bites.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Gone Fishing

I'm on vacation and will be back soon. :)

Question of the day: Besides necessities and clothes, what is something you always bring with you on vacations?

Monday, May 21, 2007

Open Water

This is why I am scared of the open water: Woman attacked by shark in Maui.

DH and I went on a kayak tour when were in Maui last year. I went on a kayak tour previously in Kauai and Maui and had a fabulous time so I wanted to do it again and this time share the experience with DH.

During the kayak tour, they take you to where the turtles play so it’s also a perfect snorkeling opportunity. The tour provides snorkeling gear to those who wish to go explore further under water.

I give DH kudos, he was daring. Even though, he does not swim, he tried snorkeling. Not an easy feat for a non swimmer to try in the middle of an open ocean! Even I was scared, but mostly because I was afraid that a shark would be lurking near us.

DH & I jumped in the water with our snorkel gear. I tried to give DH some tips but if he was nervous, he did not show it. We stayed near the kayak and swam a few feet around the boat. We had on life vests and the tour guide was nearby so we were in good hands.

We saw a turtle swim right by us. Those turtles are huge! They are also protected and you cannot go closer than 25 feet of one. Otherwise, you are fined by the state of Hawaii. How? Not sure, but they don’t need to convince me twice not to touch them. We also saw a school of yellow fish swim underneath us too.

I think I have open water phobia. I think it stemmed from the movie “Jaws” and its subsequent sequels.

All I could think of while snorkeling was (all paranoia, I must admit)

-Damn, we’re in a DEEP, BOTTOMLESS waterpit
-Damn, the ocean is really VAST
-The fishes are pretty but I hope a fish does not swim up my suit
-OMG, what is that dark shadow in the water?! Shark???

I love the ocean and swimming on the beach but I must say, swimming in the vast open ocean is daunting to me. I felt that any minute something would grab my feet under water.

I commend DH for trying snorkeling when he was not in his element. I am glad he tried it and we did it together because it was such a FUN experience!!

We really enjoyed the kayaking in Maui, it was a unique way to explore the island. It turned out to be one of the highlights of our Hawaii trip.

I highly recommend Kelli’s Kayak tour company if you are in Maui. I have gone on 2 kayak trips with them and had a wonderful, fun, safe experience both times.

Question of the day: Do you have any “phobias”?

Thursday, May 17, 2007


Thank you to everyone for your encouragement, kind words, support, positive thoughts and prayers. They are greatly appreciated. :)

I've been in a negative funk this week and now I'm breaking out of it and feel much more positive and optimistic. Life must go on.

DH & I are planning our road trip at the end of the month. It looks like we will be going to 2 baseball games as well while in LA (Dodgers AND Angels). We're pretty excited and we're looking forward to our anniversary/ mini getaway. :)

Have a great weekend!

Question of the day (returns): What are you most thankful for?

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

28 Days

28 days is the cycle.

28 days, I am optimistic
28 days, I am hopeful
28 days, I wait
28 days, I am anxious, yet at the same time try not to think about it
28 days, It's all about timing
28 days, I think positive thoughts
28 days, I pray this is the month
28 days, I will my body to conceive
28 days, I think of ways to tell DH IF I’m late and imagine his reaction
28 days, I imagine of what it feel like to have a life growing inside me

I find myself getting more disappointed with each month’s passing. It is getting so much harder to keep optimistic. The last couple of months have been harder than most. I feel disheartened especially when the 28th day arrives and it arrives. A deep fear of never having a child returns to fill my thoughts.

DH has been wonderful and reassures me that he loves me and it will happen.

I am comforted by love and refueled with hope. I am appeased, and optimism returns...

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Lunch Date

DH and I had a lunch date today. :)

He is in the city for a training class. We met for lunch and went to his old Chinese restaurant hangout.

It was by no means a fancy restaurant but it was romantic none the less. Hee hee. It was nice to spend the lunch hour with DH.

After lunch, we walked around the area before he dropped me off the train station so I could head back to work, 2 stops away.

It was the highlight of my day. :)

Question of the day: Do you take a leisurely lunch at work or do you power through lunch and eat at your desk?

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Mr. Sandman

The fog is back in SF. We got a little respite last night from the heat wave. The evening was cooler and I was able to sleep comfortably, after 2 nights of tossing and turning. That song "Mr Sandman" come to mind. I was starting to feel grouchy because I felt so blah and tired. It's going to be another nice day today but just a tad cooler.

Usually, it’s DH who can’t stand the heat. I don’t think he can stand just basking under the sun on the beach all day. He would get bored too. My family spent our summers on the beach. We spent hours and hours playing and swimming on the beach. I could just spend the idle day laying out on the beach and swimming. This is one of the activities DH & I do not have in common. He doesn’t swim, I love swimming. He hates sand; I love the warm sand on my skin.

You’d think it would cause any conflict for us on vacations, but not really. We were in Hawaii last year and we had a blast. We spent a couple of days laying out on one of the white beaches of Maui. We stayed for 3-4 hours on the beach because DH knew I wanted/needed to do that.

After a few hours of beach bliss for me, we’d go on our way to sightsee or do another activity this time something DH would enjoy. We enjoy similar recreational activities so finding something we both enjoy is never a problem. Throughout the vacation we both made sure that we each have done what the other had wanted to see or do.

Compromise is the key.

Question of the day: If you were on your way to an island for the show “Survivor” and were only allowed to bring ONE luxury item, what would you bring?

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Smoking Hot

It’s another beautiful California day! Yesterday, the temperature reached 89 degrees in SF!

Today will be equally warm. It’s too nice of a day to be cooped up at work. I guess I’ll just enjoy the sunshine when I meet AS for lunch and when I get home from work.

I didn’t sleep well for the 2nd day in the row as it was hot. I feel so tired today.

I wish I was out playing with DH, enjoying the sunshine or laying out by the beach, tropical drink in hand, reading a book I just picked up: “Love in the Time of Cholera” by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Has anyone read it?

Question of the day: What would do if you could play hooky today?

Monday, May 7, 2007

Busy Bees

Happy Monday! Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend, where ever you were!

DH & I had fun weekend coupled with gorgeous warm sunny California weather (high 70s).

Fri – I went to DH’s game. Initially, I was hesitant in coming as I would most likely have to babysit 2 of DH’s team mate’s young boys (he could only play if someone could watch his kids while he played). As someone reminded me, babysitting should not preclude me from going to the game if I wanted to. True, true. I just did not want to get stuck babysitting 2 young boys, what if they were brats? I didn’t know the team mate well enough nor his kids to feel comfortable with the responsibility.

Ironically, I did end up watching RJ’s 4 y/o daughter, K, for most of the game. I did not mind watching K as she is a sweetheart and RJ is a pretty close friend of DHs. K sat on my lap as we watched the boys play. I taught her how to yell Go Daddy!” when her Dad was up at bat. I taught her to say “Good job, Daddy!” when RJ scored. She also said “Good Job, Uncle DH” and gave DH a high five. She is soo adorable. She was well behaved during the game and even offered me some of her raisins.

DH’s team unfortunately lost the game.

Sat – I had a date with my Mom. Mom came to the city and we spent the day at SF’s shopping district, Union Square. I love shopping with Mom. She’s one of the few people I love to window shop with. She knows what clothes I like and would look good on me. We spent the day walking around and just spending time with each other. I treated her for lunch when we took a breather around noon. I bought 3 work tops from Banana Republic, while Mom bought a couple of sweaters from Nordstrom’s.

DH in the meantime was left to his own devices so he decided to spend the day with his nephew. They went to the park to hit some wiffle balls. DH was trying to teach him hitting/catching. Afterwards, they spent afternoon at the SF Zoo. DH didn’t take the nephew to Target as he didn’t want a repeat of the previous tantrum.

DH & I met up back at home late afternoon where we headed to my in-laws house for dinner and take the nephew home. DH’s favorite moment was when his nephew gave him a hug and said, “You’re my favorite Uncle”. Awwwww…..

Sun – I went to Sunday mass and returned home with brunch prepared by DH. So sweet! Since it was a warm sunny day, DH felt like going on a hike at Muir Woods.

We took the Coastal Trail to the Pantoll Ranger Station for the 1st leg. 5 minutes into the hike the terrain immediately inclined. We climbed around 1200 feet in the first hour. Normally, a hard climb in itself but yesterday was miserable as it was very hot.

We kept ourselves hydrated and pushed along and after almost 90 minutes of climbing, we emerged to a clearing. We were rewarded with the most magnificent view of the coast and of Stinson Beach!

This was what we were working so hard for for the last hour. We took a break and took in the amazing view and continued on our hike. Once we reached the end of our 1st leg at the ranger station, we took a lunch break and ate our sandwiches. Half an hour later, we were back on our feet for the hike back to the car. We took a different route and it was much easier this time as most of the trail was downhill.

In total, we hiked 6 miles round trip. We started at 1.50p and ended at 5.40p with some stops and a lunch break in between.

We felt pretty miserable after the hike but enthusiastic at completing a great hike. We rewarded ourselves by going to SF Chinatown for dinner. It felt like we expended 5000 calories from the hike, we were starving! After a dinner of noodles, shrimp dumplings and beef porridge, I felt like I ate the 5000 calories I just lost. :p

Question of the day: What was the highlight of your weekend?

Thursday, May 3, 2007


Interesting comments from yesterday's post. Everyone had their own personal way of handling news of an ex's new love/marriage.

After the given healing and angry hating period has blown over, a friendship can be salvaged if both parties have healed, still respect each other, and have moved on from the breakup. If you are still bitter about the breakup then of course it is hard to see the ex as a friend (nor why would you want to?)

Trying to remain friends after the breakup is sort of therapeutic in a way... a sign that I've moved on, grown and matured from the experience. Like going full circle or closing a chapter of a book.

(I cannot forgive Jock though for posting his patronizing comment on our wedding website so a friendship will not arise from the ashes here. I'm just spiteful that way.)

If you are in good terms with your ex, I think you would be happy for them on some level of their new found love. If your relationship ended bad then I don't think you would care less for the new bf/gf. You would probably feel sorry for the new bf/gf.

Question of the day: What is the most valuable lesson you've learned from your past relationship(s)?

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

X Marks the Spot

How does one feel when an ex is getting married?

If it were my exes, I can honestly say that I would be happy for them. None of my exes are married. At least not that I know of. The news would hit me with bittersweet feelings for ex bf1 and bf2 due to our past history. I would be genuinely happy that they have found someone to spend their life with. With ex-fiance, Jock, I would be happy for him on some level but mostly I would feel indifferent. Why? Read more below.

My BFF, AS, found out an ex flame is getting married next month. The girls and I had drinks Fri night. Jonesy mentioned that her brother’s good friend, Donovan, is getting married next month. There was a sharp intake of breath from AS. AS had a brief fling with Donovan years ago. AS said there was a powerful chemistry between them but the timing was wrong. In her eyes, he was her perfect guy.

She took the news with mixed feelings. She had a wistful look wondering “what if…” We prompted her to sip her drink. After a few sips AS started reminiscing about her encounter with Donovan. Every single, vivid, detail. The girls and I were just amused as we’ve heard the story countless times.

The next day AS said that she threw up when she got home. I was surprised as the drink we had didn’t have much alcohol in it for her to get drunk on. I had the same drink as her and it was mostly fruit juice, I could hardly taste the vodka. I even wondered if they had put vodka in the drink at all.

I told AS that she threw up not because of the vodka but because of the news Donovan was getting married. The news must have hit you harder that you thought. She wouldn’t admit it but Gigi, Jonesy and I believe that’s why she threw up. The girl barely drank her drink the night before.

My ex, Jock, handled news of my marriage well in the beginning. I had told him about the engagement myself before he heard it from his friends. We were friendly at first after we broke up but got into an arguement and the friendship dissolved. 3 months prior our wedding he posted a rude comment on our wedding website. The post was signed anonymously but I know it was Jock. The comment had very specific references that only Jock could have known. I was shocked that he stooped so low as to “sabotage” our wedding website.

How did he find our website? A close girlfriend at that time who was in Jock’s circle of friends forwarded it to him. I could not believe she did that and I was so mad at her for sharing our website with him, without my knowledge nor permission, when she knew Jock & I were not on friendly terms.

I confronted my now ex friend about it and she explained herself by saying, “Oh, I didn’t think you’d mind”. No shit, Sherlock. Yes, I mind! If I wanted Jock to access my wedding website, I would’ve forwarded it to him myself! Needless to say, that was the beginning of the end of my friendship with her.

I saw Jock, last year at DH’s softball game. He didn’t come to the bleachers but watched the game from behind the gated fence. I’m not sure if he saw me there or not. DH saw him and said hello. Jock never went inside the park to greet his friends who were playing with DH, he and the girl just watched from afar. I didn’t see the current gf up close. Good thing as I did not want to see/talk to him ever because of the stunt he pulled.

I heard the current gf has the same name as me. How weird is that?!? I don’t think I could be with anyone that has the same name as my ex.

That’s just me ...

Question of the day: How have you handled news than an old flame is about to get married or is currently with someone else?