Ex-Communicado
Interesting comments from yesterday's post. Everyone had their own personal way of handling news of an ex's new love/marriage.
After the given healing and angry hating period has blown over, a friendship can be salvaged if both parties have healed, still respect each other, and have moved on from the breakup. If you are still bitter about the breakup then of course it is hard to see the ex as a friend (nor why would you want to?)
Trying to remain friends after the breakup is sort of therapeutic in a way... a sign that I've moved on, grown and matured from the experience. Like going full circle or closing a chapter of a book.
(I cannot forgive Jock though for posting his patronizing comment on our wedding website so a friendship will not arise from the ashes here. I'm just spiteful that way.)
If you are in good terms with your ex, I think you would be happy for them on some level of their new found love. If your relationship ended bad then I don't think you would care less for the new bf/gf. You would probably feel sorry for the new bf/gf.
Question of the day: What is the most valuable lesson you've learned from your past relationship(s)?
posted by Trixie @ 8:45 AM
13 Comments:
i've learned not to be one of those crazy girls. lol.
If he says he's a jerk, he's a jerk.
I think the most valuable lesson I have learned is that sometimes you have to get out of them. Even if they were once great, or even are still good...you have to know when to get out. Thinking about all the time and effort you have spent is irrelevant, it has to be about whether or not it is the right relationship to be in going forward.
I learned that I didn't deserve to be treated the way they were treating me and that I deserved better.
A: You can't help someone that can't help themselves.
I'll get over it - is what I have learned.
that you cant change someone, they have to want to change themselves. that second (or third) chances are not always worth it. that you will always remember the hurtful things that once went down, even if you did forgive them. they'll always be part of the relationship's history.
I've learned never to let the relationship take center stage in your life. It's never good to lose yourself in a relationship because if it ends, you have nothing.
Sometimes they may be perfect for you but you may not be perfect for them... therefore things will never work out.
I think the most valuable lesson I've learned is to listen to the other person, to read the signs of unhappiness and to respect their feelings.
I think that bitterness that arises between a couple is generated by both parties and is not necessarily only one person's fault.
I've also learned that the outcome of a relationship is also a product of both persons involved, no matter what--it doesn't matter if everyone says "she's the nicest girl in the world, so it's his fault". In reality, the way a couple interacts with one another is based on the way each one treats the other.
Someone can be fantastic and you can have a blast with him but that doesn't mean he's right for you....and you should move on if he's not.
I've learned never to be friends with my ex :)
I've learned that it's better to stick with intuitions! One shouldn't settle just for the sake of a relationship. And that it's important to draw certain boundaries.
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