Reality Bites

Random musings of reality bytes ... when reality bites.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

28 Days

28 days is the cycle.

28 days, I am optimistic
28 days, I am hopeful
28 days, I wait
28 days, I am anxious, yet at the same time try not to think about it
28 days, It's all about timing
28 days, I think positive thoughts
28 days, I pray this is the month
28 days, I will my body to conceive
28 days, I think of ways to tell DH IF I’m late and imagine his reaction
28 days, I imagine of what it feel like to have a life growing inside me

I find myself getting more disappointed with each month’s passing. It is getting so much harder to keep optimistic. The last couple of months have been harder than most. I feel disheartened especially when the 28th day arrives and it arrives. A deep fear of never having a child returns to fill my thoughts.

DH has been wonderful and reassures me that he loves me and it will happen.

I am comforted by love and refueled with hope. I am appeased, and optimism returns...


Blogger Princess Extraordinaire said...

I understand how you feel - been there - and all I can say is hang in there and know that you are doing everything possible for this miracle to take place. I am sending special thougths your way...

May 16, 2007 at 11:24 AM  
Blogger B said...

I will be thinking of you and sending positive thoughts.

May 16, 2007 at 11:40 AM  
Anonymous ella said...

What a great hubby. The only thing you can do is leave it up to God.

May 16, 2007 at 2:26 PM  
Anonymous brandy said...

Miss Trixie, I am sending you tons of good thoughts and well wishes. I can only imagine how frustrating that would be, but I am wishing for the best!

May 16, 2007 at 2:47 PM  
Blogger brookem said...

I am also keeping you and your hubby in my thoughts. Keep trying! (at least that's the fun part!)... thinking of you lots and wishing happy results in the next next 28 days.

May 17, 2007 at 7:35 AM  
Blogger Kate said...

awww... i wish you well, sweetie.

May 17, 2007 at 7:47 AM  
Blogger SWF41 said...

Oh, I'm so sorry. I won't tell you to relax, because I'm sure you're tired of hearing that.

I'll just keep my fingers crossed for you.

In the meantime, let me know if you want to borrow an 18 year old girl. That will make the waiting easier. :-)

May 17, 2007 at 8:19 AM  
Blogger angel, jr. said...

Just hang in there sweetie!! I think it happens when you aren't trying. I'll keep this in my thoughts and prayers.

May 17, 2007 at 10:18 AM  
Blogger The Mahathma said...

On a blog! :-O All my wishes and good luck for u!

May 17, 2007 at 10:20 AM  
Blogger Double-A said...

Miracles take time. In the meantime, just remember that pratice makes perfect! :P

May 17, 2007 at 11:22 AM  
Blogger Accidentally Me said...

I will echo what everyone else has said about having faith, staying positive and enjoying your life with the hubby:-)

And just think of how much fun trying is!

May 17, 2007 at 5:25 PM  
Blogger Ali said...

I hear you - I've been in that hell for the last 2.5 years. I wait with the same thoughts as you.
Good luck, and know that I am sending happy thoughts from me to you that one day soon you will be thinking "in 9 months" instead of in 28 day intervals.

May 17, 2007 at 5:26 PM  
Blogger Miss Demielle said...

Happiness and conceiving oddly enough, is like a butterfly. The moment you stop chasing it it lands on your shoulder. Your Husband sounds awesome! What a cool guy! It will happen. Keep telling yourself that. It will and it shall.

May 17, 2007 at 5:28 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

I'm so sorry things haven't been easy. I can't imagine what that's like. Here's hoping that you will have some great news in the next 28 days!

May 17, 2007 at 6:40 PM  
Blogger appletini said...

I will definitely send positive thoughts your way, and a prayer, if you don't mind :)

May 17, 2007 at 8:45 PM  
Blogger Trixie said...

Thank you everyone for the support and encouragement. :)

Practice makes perfect, right Aaron?

Princess - its somehow comforting I'm not alone and people are and have gone through this.

Ali - I'm sending positive thoughts your way as well!

Ella & Ms Demielle - I am thankful and so fortunate to have sucha loving and supportive hubby. Ms Demielle - I love your analogy of the elusive butterfly!

SWF41 - Uh thank you for the offer, but we will pass on the 18 yr/old... we'd to start small and work ourselves up. ;)

Appletini - I don't mind at all! Thank you for the prayer. :)

May 17, 2007 at 10:19 PM  

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