Reality Bites

Random musings of reality bytes ... when reality bites.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Hot and Cold

I feel like crap this morning. I went to bed last night angry at DH.

I made a boo boo yesterday and DH called me on it. That’s fine. If I make a mistake, I’d like to know it so I can correct it and not do it again. It was the way he said it to me, which ticked me off. He didn’t call me any names, nothing like that. The way he said it (to me) felt belittling and condescending.

I shut down after that.

When I’m mad, I’m quiet. I’m distant. I'll give you the cold shoulder. I’m usually pretty laid back and happy go lucky. It takes a lot to get me mad and when I’m mad, I stew. I keep it inside.

It’s my passive aggressiveness rearing its ugly head. You need to leave me alone until I cool off because when I’m mad, I don’t want to talk to you or look at you.

When the incident happened last night, I didn’t talk to him for the rest of the evening, even when he tried to snuggle. I just watched my portable DVD in bed. I didn’t talk much this morning, just kissed him goodbye, when I went off to work.

I realize I’m like a switch. off/on or hot/cold. When you piss me off, I can turn off just like that and be cold and distant. I’m not proud of it. It's very immature and not a good way to handle conflict.

I wish I could be more vocal when something is bothering me, voice it out and get it over with right away. Instead my passive aggressiveness takes over.

It’s not something I like about myself and need to work on.

Sigh, even though I'm still ticked off at DH, I feel horrible for giving him the cold shoulder last night.

Question of the day: Do you have a trait that you are not proud of?

7 Comments:

Blogger brookem said...

Trixie, try not to be so hard on yourself. Maybe try talking to him about it tonight... I'm sure the whole thing will blow over.

Hmm, a trait I'm not proud of, let me pick.... I don't always speak up when something is bothering me. And then I stew, and then I snap. Instead of just dealing with it upfront, or saying something about it, talking about the issue right away, I let it go, and then when it gets to be too much, I snap at the person. I don't like that characteristic of mine.

March 26, 2007 at 12:38 PM  
Blogger angel, jr. said...

My horrible trait is passive/aggressiveness. I don't talk about what's bothering me and I usually need to cool off before I can talk to someone I'm angry with. And then when I cool off, I just shrug it all off and everything is okay. And I certainly don't want the person who was the target of my anger to bring up the incident again, cause if they do, it may make me spiral back into anger.

March 26, 2007 at 3:02 PM  
Blogger Clare said...

I hope you are able to patch things up with DH and talk about what happened.

March 26, 2007 at 4:03 PM  
Blogger Aaron said...

Pride. It's always been a concious struggle.

March 26, 2007 at 9:35 PM  
Blogger ella w. said...

My temper. I am working very hard on it!

And I think I've mentioned before but nothing scares me more than a passive aggressive person. I'm sure things will blow over - sounds like you have a good man.

March 26, 2007 at 9:43 PM  
Blogger brandy said...

I constantly confuse 'emaciate' and 'emancipate'. Which causes me to say things to jr high kids like 'when women were emaciated, it was a great moment of joy in Canadian history'. That's a bad habit. And you know, the shoe shopping. And I've got a thing for procrastination. And my temper. And I ramble. On another note, I do hope that you and the DH work things out and get back to the joy that is snuggling.

March 26, 2007 at 11:16 PM  
Blogger Trixie said...

Brookem and Angel Jr - I need to work on dealing with things that bother me upfront. I guess we're in the same boat.

Clare - Thanks, DH & I will smooth things out.

Aaron- It's a toughie, this thing called pride.

Ella - DH is a good man, we'll smooth things out. Yeah, I am not really proud of this trait. When you finally do get me mad, that just means I've had it. But when I cool off, I can easily shrug it off. I've never gone over the board and just snap, I just turn quiet. Which is not good either. I'm working on it.

Brandy - Hmmm... shoe shopping is bad? ;) Thank you and I hope to be back snuggling soon too.

March 27, 2007 at 7:34 AM  

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