Reality Bites

Random musings of reality bytes ... when reality bites.

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

The B train leaves in 6 minutes...

I received an email today from my friend LC that she gave birth to a baby girl a few days ago!! I could not be more thrilled for her and her hubby!!

LC and I met through a wedding planning chatboard. We were both looking for vendor recommendations and referred some of the vendors we've interviewed. We hit it off really well and became fast friends. We exchanged emails frequently commisserating about wedding planning. We met only 1 time in person prior to our weddings but that did not stop us from inviting each other to our weddings. She and her hubby came to ours but unfortunately we could not attend their wedding as we were out of town for DH's birthday.

LC and I were in the same boat last year, she and her hubby were also trying to conceive and have been trying for awhile. DH & I just started trying for a baby. We talked about our dissapointments and challenges of trying to conceive. I did not feel so alone as she was going through what we were.

Then came the news last summer they were expecting a baby. I was excited for them both as I know they've been trying for awhile. But at the same time, I could not help but feel jealous at their joy and excitement.

I felt left behind. I felt the "B" train went by and I wasn't on it. I was on the platform looking as the train sped away. I felt the air go out of me like the way the air goes out of a tire. I felt very ashamed and selfish I felt this way at their happy news. I vented to one of my close friends, Gigi. Gigi and I are the same age and have been married almost the same time so she understands how I feel. She got me out of my funk, telling me that our time will come for a baby as well. DH & I are still young so we have plenty of time to keep trying. For the meantime, just have fun trying. DH said the same thing. They're both right, but it took me a day to process my feelings of I guess, inadequacy and "What's wrong with me?".

We have several friends who have announced their pregnancies last year. But LC's was hardest to hear as it seemed she promoted to the next grade and I was held back.

Fortunately for LC she had a relatively easy pregnancy. No morning sickness at all. She looked so radiant and beautiful as a mother to be would.

So fast forward to the present. I've been wondering if LC gave birth yet as I know her due date was coming up. I was dreading the news a little bit as I was scared what my reaction would be and I did not want to feel jealous.

When I heard the news today of the birth of the baby girl, I was ecstatic for LC and her husband!! Their baby is sooo perfect and adorable!!!! I am just thrilled for them both and cannot wait to meet their baby girl and visit them.

I don't want to be like one of those baby obsessed people. You know the ones who talk about babies 24/7 and talk to anyone who'll listen. I'm not like that. It's there in the back of my mind and I am beginning to worry a bit but I don't talk to everyone about it. It's a very private thing and I only talk to DH and my close girlfriends about it and a little on this blog.

When the time is right, it will happen for us. Like Gigi said we should have fun trying. That, indeed, we are. :)

Question of the day: Do you have any milestone(s) that you feel you should've accomplished at this stage of your life?

1 Comments:

Blogger Aaron said...

Woulda, coulda, shoulda.

All the goals I had set forth for myself (at this age) were at an age where my opinion of the world around me was based on logic and reason. As that isn't how things normally operate, I don't think I've reached many (if any?) of those goals.

Okay, so I own a house. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.

A funny story, if you will: My grandmother used to harass me all the time, wanting to know when she was going to get some grandchildren. (Mind you, I'm not married and there are other siblings that are.) After a couple years of all this baby talk from grandma, I'd had enough. One afternoon I said, "I don't know if you're going to get any grandchildren, Mi-Ma. I practice as often as I can but try as I might, I'm not sure if my plumbing works." After that shock and awe campaign wore of, I've never been propositioned for granchildren since. :)

Have fun trying. :P

February 7, 2007 at 5:19 AM  

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