Does seeing a pregnant woman bring out the ignorance in people?
I don’t know why, but people think they are free to make comments about you, your body, your weight, your baby, your diet, the way you look, etc, when you are pregnant. I think most people think saying insensitive or unwelcome comments is a no-no at anytime?
Strangers, co-irkers (aka co-workers) suddenly become your doctor, pediatrician, and nutritionist. People just don’t think when they speak.
Fortunately for us, the pregnancy has been going well through 31 weeks. The baby is healthy and growing. I’ve had a few “helpful comments” by co-irkers who thought they were being helpful but in reality they were rude and annoying.
I was thin pre-pregnancy, so throughout this whole pregnancy, my weight has increased marginally but at a healthy pace. I am showing a baby bump but not as big as most women at this stage.
So while most pregnant women get the usual rude “You’re big/ are you carrying twins” comments about their pregnancy body and weight, I get the opposite. And that is not necessarily better. I’ve received the following comments:
- “You’re so small”
- “Your baby is small/ will be small”
- “You need to gain more weight”
- “You need to eat more”
I’m not sure if the co-irkers that have said that to me meant it as a compliment, but it sure did not sound one in my ears.
To me, it’s rude, similar to calling a person big/overweight is rude. Those comments make me feel that I am not taking care or feeding my baby. The baby is normal, healthy and growing and yet I feel like I have to defend myself and explain why my belly is not as pronounced as others and I still look thin at this stage. And I shouldn’t have to.
I was so infuriated when a female co-irker told me "You're small. You need to gain more weight." WTF!
Who the heck are you to give me this advice??! Are you my doctor? Are you a nutritionist? Do you have any insight on my pregnancy? WTF! When she made the comment, I told her “My doc is fine with my weight and is not concerned about it. So, neither should you.” and then I walked away. Ugh, she really annoyed me.
The nastiness in me surfaced, what I really wanted to say to her was “just because you were ugly during your pregnancy doesn’t mean the rest of us are during ours”. Of course I didn’t say that but I thought it when she provoked me with her insensitive comment.
Most people have been very complimentary to me during my pregnancy saying I look well/ great/ glowing. Those comments are very much appreciated because let me tell you, the way your body changes during the pregnancy, glowing or feeling great is the farthest from our minds. So when someone compliments that we look great, it's just music to our ears and sometimes what gets us through the discomfort of the day.
So, when you see a pregnant woman, think twice before saying what you perceive is a compliment. If you want to say something nice, just say “You look great/wonderful/radiant/beautiful!” PERIOD. I guarantee that you will make her day. :)
Question of the day: What is the most ignorant/rude/insensitive comment someone has said to you?
